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Monday, August 10, 2009

Shift

I am up late, or early depending upon your perspective, with a sick little girl. I had the strangest dream tonight. I dreamed that I had fallen asleep with Audrey on the couch. Alan came home from work and touched my hand. I woke up and he asked how his girls were doing. That is when I woke up. The dream was so real that for a minute I wondered where he was. Then it all came back to me. Luckily Audrey needed me so I didn't have time to break down.

The dream was strange because most of my dreams about Alan are of me crying or trying to talk to him and him being cold and distant. It was kind of nice to have a different kind of dream, but also heartbreaking at the same time. I would never take back the man he is now, but I desperately miss the man he used to be.